Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Eight years...

Today is Billy and my anniversary- eight years ago we were married on a beautiful fall day. And sometimes late at night we gaze at each other and scream- "WHAT WERE WE THINKING???"
In all seriousness and everyone who is married knows that there is NO such thing as a perfect marriage- it just doesn't exist. But what there is in marriage is your version of perfect. And Bill and I have worked out our perfect version of ying and yang. For whatever reason God saw to it that the eternal bachelor living alone in Florida met the naive little girl from suburban Colorado. We did meet on the internet, but not in the typical fashion one does on dating sites. It was in a chat room by pure chance, pure fate or divine intervention.

But Bill has always been there when I wasn't expecting him to be. I had other relationships in the past where I wasn't treated the way I thought a man should treat a woman, the way I saw my Father treat my Mother, with love and respect and LOTS of laughter. And then there was Billy.

We were engaged after only a month and he moved 1700 miles from warm Florida to freezing Colorado in January. Took a job where he had to commute 2 hours a day and came into my life at an extraordinarily bumpy time for me. But yet he just loved me. It took a few months of being engaged for me to realize that I really did want to marry this man. And I can tell you the exact moment it happened too. I have this beautiful full bred Australian Shepherd, Chase, with an extremely sensitive tummy! And he generally pukes often. One night I saw him clean up yet another Chase mess and then very sweetly sat on the couch and rubbed his tummy and talked to him. My heart melted! I had only had Chase about a year at that point, but I loved him like he was my child. Now Bill will deny this ever happened, but it did. He took me and this pukey dog because he knew how much I loved the dog. And that is Bill.

He always says that love is just a feeling and we all know feelings are fleeting. But to love someone is to do it out of your will. And that is what he has done. Our eight years have not been easy, we had Connor very fast and we dealt with his challenges. Then Bill had a heart attack, which was terrifying, but he recovered quickly and takes very good care of that heart of his. And I had my own issues over the years and we also dealt with infertility. Then we had Regan and she has just sparked up our whole life, mine, Bill's and Connor's. She is like the person we knew was missing had finally arrived.

Women always say they fall more in love with their husbands after watching them become fathers and that is certainly true for me. Connor loves Bill like the sun rises and sets with him and Bill does the same for Connor. He watches him struggle, which I know pains him, but he cries tears of joy when he triumphs. And with Punky, ahh little Princess Punky, she has him wrapped around her tiny little finger. She has from the moment she came into this world and he was the first one to hold her and the first one to feed her. And now when she sees him, she just lights up like a firefly! Bill gets up with her in the middle of the night, even though he gets up very early and still travels that hour to work downtown. He does that for me and our children, so that we can live in a safe place with good schools.

There are so many things I love about my husband, his knowledge of the Bible and his walk with Christ, but yet letting me develop my own walk and not pushing me, but teaching me when I ask. Realizing that I am younger than he is and haven't gone through all of my growing phases just yet. That he loves baseball so much that when we went to our first Rockies game he made me go early to watch batting practice- I didn't know they let you watch! And during that game (a game which I learned from my father) when the pitcher was struggling, I looked over to the bullpin and wondered out loud why they didn't have anyone warming up- he looked at me with amazement and said "I knew there was a reason I loved you!" That he is calm when I am not and that he will kill the spider for me. And that he makes me laugh like no one has ever been able to! And if you know me, you know how very important laughter is to me!

But the biggest and main reason I love William Howard so much is that during these eight years he has seen me at my ugliest and my most hurt and vulnerable and at my most angry and he has never, not once turned away and not looked at me with love in his eyes.

My best friend lost her husband quite suddenly a few weeks ago and she told me to always love him, always cherish him (even when he is annoying) and to remember how blessed I am to have such a man in my life. My heart aches for her, but at the same time it soars for me!

So happy anniversary babe! Love you love you, Melinda

Friday, October 17, 2008

A blog about a blog...

I have to do a post about my friend Molly's blog from a few days ago. She was writing about her oldest Drew, who I believe is almost 4, and that he has learned a new word- damn. I had to laugh because of two reasons, the first being the fact that my son has been in speech therapy since he was 2 and couldn't even say 'Mommy' until he was three! But one evening when was about 3, he was brushing his teeth and dropped his toothbrush and I heard him say "aw f**k it" in his little toddler voice! Now I will freely admit that I do not set the greatest example for my son when it comes to those words, I have tried not to use certain ones, but when some moron cuts me off- things happen! But the really good thing about Connor is that if you tell him certain words are only for grown ups, he won't say them again. My sister, on the otherhand, has had to start using German curse words instead! Great until her son starts taking German!

The other part of her blog that made me laugh was the conversation Connor was having with a friend the other day. I had taken him to the doctor for his 7 yr checkup and told him there would be no shots. But then our doc offered to give he and I a flu shot right then so we wouldn't have to come back for the clinic they will hold. So naturally he was not happy with me. So I promised him that if he was good and did not scream, I would call and see if his buddy Elijah could come to the library with us. He was good, so we picked up Elijah and went to the library. On our way home, the two of them are sitting in the way back of the Durango and Connor said something was "stupid" and Elijah said that "stupid" was a bad word and Connor said "no shit is a bad word, stupid is just not a nice word!" So I am trying to hold in my laughter at his logic as Elijah asks him if I let him say "shit" and Connor says "no, but she says it all the time!" GREAT! Fortunately I know Elijah's Mom and I am sure she would not be shocked in horror knowing that I don't have the greatest restraint in my vocab!

I know we don't want our kids to curse, but man I happen to think it is hysterical when they do and then create their own logic around it! Connor makes me laugh, even if I don't let him know it. So Molly, go into your room and shut the door and laugh!!!!! Drew will never know!

Have a great weekend!

See ya, Mel

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Connor's 7th Birthday Party!

We had Connor's 7th birthday party last Saturday and he had a blast! I kept it low-key and decided to stop trying to compete with all of the Highlands Ranch Moms and did not shell out hundreds for my son's party. And I think he had the most fun at this one!

We did a SpongeBob theme, it was a movie and pizza party. He invited four of his friends and we rented "SpongeBob Squarepants: The Movie" and set up a theater in our family room. I spread out a huge quilt to make it cozy (and to keep the carpets I JUST had cleaned protected!) and each boy got a pillow to lay on.

We started out with some pizza, then moved on to the movie. I had to let them have a massive pillow fight first to get some energy out and then they all sat down. We turned the lights off and the stereo on and they each got little boxes for popcorn. After the movie was half way through, we stopped for cake, cupcakes actually. Connor is not a kid who likes sweets AT ALL, which is a little strange. So instead of buying or making a huge cake, I decided to make cupcakes and ice them and then let each kids decorate 2, one to eat then and one to take home. They had gummy worms, mini m&m's, and sprinkles. Connor covered his with m&m's and we put a #7 candle on top and sang happy birthday and he never even touched the cupcake!

Then after running up and sliding down the staircase about a billion times, Connor opened his gifts. He got great transformers and a new game for us to try on game night! Then the boys managed to sit long enough to finish the movie (I was wondering if I would get a visit from DCFS if I shoved a Xanax down one kid's throat) and then we let them run around outside until their parents came.

And while we were outside, I was holding Punky all wrapped in a cozy blanket and I wanted Bill to gather the boys in the yard and take a picture of them all. But during the hand off of the camera there was a fumble and the camera hit the sidewalk and broke! And I have not even had the thing for a year! SO MAD! And when I went to see how much it would take to fix it, the guy said it would be a minimum of $150 since they are required to send this particular brand back to the manufacturer! So I guess we'll be doing some camera shopping!

Once the party was over, we surveyed the damage. Abby and Chase cleaned up any remaining popcorn on the floor and Bill and I cleaned up the kitchen. It wasn't too big of a mess and I managed to get the house back in order before bedtime. We decided 3 hours was WAY too long to have them all here, but we are very glad that we decided to have the party at home and did not succumb to the HR pressure of shelling out hundreds for C's 7th birthday!

Here are some shots of the crazy event!

Connor with buddies Elijah, Tim and Tyler

Tim, Tyler and Jack on the stairs

The pillow fight!

Ahh, all quiet for the movie!

Pizza time (thank God for plastic table cloths!)


Happy Birthday sweet boy!

And now for an update on Punky....

She had her two month checkup on September 26th. She weighed in at 9lbs. 14oz and is 23 1/2 inches long. She is TINY! At this age Connor was almost 14lbs and 26 inches long! But our doctor said she is eating well and is healthy. Her arm is doing great and she is getting very steady with that head. I broke down and got her vaccinations due at 2 months. I am just so conflicted! I do not believe that they are the reason Connor has ASD, but it stills scares the life out of me! So my doc agreed we will stay on schedule for all of them except the MMR, which we will wait until she is 2 years old.

Other than that, she is doing great! Most nights she makes it about 7 hours. She is sleeping in her crib in her own room and it feels so great to have my house full! She is smiling like crazy and loves to see her big brother and listen to all the songs he makes up about her. We have scheduled her baptism at our church on November 9th. She will wear the gown that both my sister and I were baptized in!

We are doing well here this fall! Hope you all are too!

See ya, Melinda

Sunday, October 5, 2008


I joined "Facebook" recently. It is a way to stay in touch (connected) with family and friends. It brought back, stragely, a memory of going to work with my Dad when I was a boy. The memory crept back in as I was thinking how I use to be so "connected" years ago. If I didn't know so and so, I knew someone who knew so and so. If they didn't, they knew someone who did, and on and on. Some connections, I put in my back pocket, save for a rainy day, ya never know. However, as time goes on, all those connections have gone away. Anyway, back to the memory.

I use to go with my dad to work at the gas station (back in the late 60's early 70's). I would get up with him at o dark thirty. I had a sense of excitement, hangin' with Pops. We would go in, the station was 24 hours then, so I would just hang around with him, wait on some cars, and mostly just walk a round the property, listen to the men talk, the way only men can do and as a kid try to make sense of it all. It was a busy station, on the corner of 67th and Jeffrey, where the LSD (Lake Shore Drive) started on the south side of Chicago. My dad met a lot of people, like Cashius Clay, Gayle Sayers, George Seals and a few others. Oh yeah, Cashius is now Mohammed Ali.

In the early afternoon, I would start getting tired and Dad told me to go lay down in back of the Impala. I would crash, but eventually I would here my Dad's voice and he would bring someone over to meet me. I would try and wake up, throw out my hand for a shake and the response from the strager would be always something positive and it up with the concluding remark, "So, your "Dick's" kid". Side Note: My dad was named Richard, but his nickname was Dick, another thing that was hard to grow up with. Anyway, the person I would meet was always in a suit and a hat (back then it was GQ) and they always seemed like giants.

So, what is the point of this entry, only that I wish I would have remembered the names of the people my Dad introduced me to! I always wondered why he did it, he knew I was sleeping, perhaps, as I can only say somewhat reservedly, that he was proud of me, I was his son and that was that. With my Dad, I was always connected.

(Another fond moment, that I will have to share at another time, is that I usually went with my Dad to work on Sunday mornings and the the radio would be playing in the bays (mechanic and grease monkey areas) with Chicago gospel preachers and music.)

So, to my new relationship with Facebook. I could only hope to introduce someone to someone else that perhaps would enrich their life a little and bring a ray of hope to this blue globe that keeps circlen around another day.