Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Day two...

Wow, I actually managed to accomplish blogging on day 2! Well, I haven't actually hit "publish" yet, so we'll see.

So the topic for today is my weakness as a parent for one child over the other. I am hoping I am not the only one who has this issue, because it makes me feel more guilty than my usual guilt, which runs quite deep. I would have to admit that I tend to feel more emotionally about Connor than I do Regan. That is not to say that I love him more than her, I just feel more deeply connected to him. Maybe it's because he is easier personality-wise or maybe it's because he and I spent SO many years going from therapy to therapy and we had to work SO hard to get him to where he is now. Not sure.

The strange thing to all of this is that everything is hindsight. I had only been married for about 5 mins when I got pregnant with Connor and he was born 11 months to the day after we were married. And Regan took 4 years and medical science to have! And I REALLY wanted a daughter, both times! So why is it that I feel more of a weakness when it comes to Connor? For instance he has been a little off the two days- headache, tired, not sleeping well- so I have let him stay home from school. WHY? I suppose I could have pushed him and made him go, but I didn't. I guess the amount of work one has to take to have said child has nothing to do with how you feel about that child...

I was watching "House" last night and it was about a woman who was a professional blogger of sorts, although I am not sure how one gets to be a "professional" blogger. Anyway, she wrote about anything and everything that happened in her life. Not sure if that is a good or bad idea? So writing about my weakness for one child over the other may come back to bite me. But I figure I have to give my kids something to tell their shrinks later on in life, right?

See ya on day 3,

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